


Fjorclay Drabbles

by walkalittleline



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Just random little drabbles, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-11-24 01:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20899085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkalittleline/pseuds/walkalittleline
Summary: Just cross posting things I’ve posted in the fjorclay discord or on twitter so I have them all in one place :)





	1. Lay on Hands

He all but flings his sword aside as he drops to his knees at Caduceus’ side. Panicked and frantic, he lays one hand on his chest, brushing his hair aside where it’s strewn across his face. He grimaces at the blood smeared over his cheek, his eyes half-closed. 

He mumbles a prayer under his breath, cupping Caduceus’ cheek, his other hand still pressed over his heart. It’s strange, praying to someone he’s not half-afraid of. He feels warmth bloom and spread from his palms, watches his fingers emit the faintest green glow that seeps into Caduceus chest.

For a moment nothing happens and he’s half terrified it didn’t work. And then Caduceus inhales a deep, shuddering breath and his eyes open fully, landing almost immediately on Fjord.

“Oh, thank god,” Fjord says, slumping in relief. 

“Fjord,” Caduceus shifts and winces. He looks down at Fjord’s hand on his chest and his eyebrows lift in surprise. “Wha—did you do that?”

“I guess I did,” Fjord replies, laughing in disbelief.

“Well that’s new,” Caduceus says, sounding impressed.

“Yeah,” Fjord mutters and stares down at his hand. He looks back to Caduceus worriedly. “Are you okay?”

“Mm, yeah,” Caduceus says even as he tries to sit up and clutches his stomach, grimacing. “Is anyone else down?”

“Stop,” Fjord scolds, pushing him back down gently. “Everyone else is fine.”

Caduceus lies back down, frowning. 

“Take a minute to breathe for once,” Fjord says. “I think everyone else will live if you do.”

“But I’m fine,” Caduceus insists, though he doesn’t try to get up again.

Fjord touches Caduceus’ hair lightly. It’s still damp with his own blood. “You have blood in your hair, Caduceus. Your blood.”

“I’ve had worse,” Caduceus says with a shrug.

“Caduceus,” Fjord rests his hand on Caduceus’ cheek again, waiting for Caduceus to look at him before continuing, “are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, Fjord,” Caduceus says. “Am I allowed to sit up now?”

“No,” Fjord replies. Caduceus looks like he’s about to argue or just get up anyway and Fjord leans down and kisses him. He pulls away after a few seconds, pleased to see Caduceus looks too taken aback to disagree with him again. Fjord shrugs out of his coat and props him up just enough to pillow it under his head.

“You’re going to stay here and rest while the rest of us look around,” he says firmly. “Alright?”

Caduceus nods mutely and Fjord smiles.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He presses a brief kiss to Caduceus’ cheek before pushing to his feet and gathering his sword from the snow. He sheathes it smoothly, turning back to point sternly at Caduceus, and heads to join the others.  
  
  



	2. Wither

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the thought that Caduceus’ health is linked to the health of the Blooming Grove.

“Why didn’t you _ say something_?” Fjord cries, feeling his voice crack in his throat and his eyes burn painfully. “We’ve been halfway across the damn continent a dozen times, we could have gone! We would have gone if you’d said something!”

“There were more important things at hand,” Caduceus says calmly. His hair is streaked heavily with white now, and Fjord can see how sunken his eyes look in the stark contrast of the firelight. He doesn’t know why he didn’t see it before. He’d always just thought Caduceus was skinny. He looks… withered now.

“More important than saving your life?” Fjord says in disbelief.

“Yes,” Caduceus replies plainly. “There are many more lives at stake then mine, Fjord.”

“Bullshit,” Fjord snaps. “And what about all that time you wasted on me? We could have been—“ His voice catches and he shakes his head bitterly, bile rising in his throat at the thought.

“If I die,” Caduceus says in that same unfettered tone, “there are many others who will take up the mantle of the Wildmother in my place. There’s no one to take your place, Fjord.”

“And what if _ I _ need you?” Fjord says tearfully, not bothering the try and stem the hot flow of tears as he drops to Caduceus’ side where he’s seated close to the fire. He clasps his hand in his own, hating how frail it feels now. “There might be others to do your work but what if _ I need you? _ They will not replace you. _ I love you_.”

Caduceus smiles sadly, lifting his other hand to brush the tears from Fjord’s cheek.

“You know I love you, too,” he says, leaning down to kiss Fjord’s forehead. “That’s not going to change if I die.”

Fjord shakes his head hard, stifling a sob.

“Don’t,” he whispers, “don’t say that. Please. It’s not… we can still fix it. Fix you.”

Caduceus hums. He sounds exhausted. Resigned almost. It makes Fjord’s stomach churn nauseously with fear.

“I’m going to fix it,” he says resolutely, gripping Caduceus’ hand firmly. “I won’t stop until it’s fixed. I promise you.”

Caduceus smiles, his fingers still stroking gently over Fjord’s cheek.

“You always were stubborn,” he says fondly.

Fjord chuckles wetly, sniffing and pressing a kiss to Caduceus’ knuckles before standing and kissing the top of his head as well.

“You know, it’s funny,” Caduceus begins as Fjord is tucking the blankets more firmly around him to ward off the chill wind rattling the windows, “I said one day someone would pray for a miracle and you would show up. I guess I was right.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW discussion of death
> 
> BOY THAT FIRBOLG/HALF ORC LIFESPAN DIFFERENCE HUH

They’ve been living together for nearly fifteen years when Fjord really starts to see it. The growing strip of grey in his hair that’s no longer just across his bangs, the growing wrinkles around his eyes, the way his bones feel stiff on particularly cold mornings. And there’s Caduceus, not looking a day older than when they met so many years ago, bustling about making tea and kissing the top of Fjord’s head as he sets his cup in front of him.

It’s something he’s thought about in passing before, how much longer Caduceus will live than him, though it’s only recently that the thought has become less abstract. Seeing how much more rapidly he’s aging in comparison to his husband, the odd looks they get sometimes when they’re out and about in an unfamiliar city, strangers no doubt wondering why someone Fjord’s age is holding hands with someone so young and bright.

“What are you thinking about so hard?” Caduceus says as he takes the seat across from Fjord with his own tea. Fjord can’t recall the name of the family, something with an R he thinks. It’s sweet and floral, one of his favorites that Caduceus always makes for him when he wakes up feeling particularly rusty around the joints. 

Fjord grunts noncommittally in response.

“What’s wrong?” Caduceus coaxes him, reaching out to cover Fjord’s gnarled hand with his own, smooth and unblemished. 

“I’m going to die,” Fjord says.

Caduceus blinks then chuckles quietly.

“Well, yes, we’re all going to die some day,” he says, squeezing Fjord’s hand as he takes a sip of his tea. “That is the nature of things.”

“I’m going to die soon,” Fjord continues, “much sooner than you.”

Caduceus stills, the laughter fading from his face, a reserved sadness coming over his features instead as he sets down his cup.

“I know,” he says softly. 

“My life… it’s barely a blip in yours,” Fjord says. He looks down into his own cup, steam rising gently from the surface. He laughs weakly. “Gods, will you even remember me a hundred years from now?”

He looks up, surprised to see hurt and anger reflected back at him.

“Will I remember you?” Caduceus says, voice sharp in a way Fjord has only heard half a dozen times in his life. “How could you say that?”

“I just mean that… you’ll have hundreds of years after I’m gone,” Fjord says hastily, gripping Caduceus’ hand when he tries to withdraw it. “What’s thirty years with me to you?”

“Everything,” Caduceus cries, his voice cracking around the word, tears brimming suddenly in his eyes.

“You think I would forget you?” he says in that same pained voice. “Forget us?”

“No, Caduceus—“

“I know you’re going to die, Fjord,” Caduceus continues, ignoring him. “You think I haven’t thought about it? About the fact that I’ll have to bury you some day?” Tears are slipping down his cheeks now, though his jaw is set angrily. 

“Caduceus…”

“I don’t question Her will, Fjord,” Caduceus says, gesturing upward, “but you’re the only one who’s made me come close. Because the thought of getting so little time with you is unbearable.”

“I’m sorry,” Fjord says a little desperately, squeezing his hand as Caduceus swipes away tears with the other. “I’m  _ sorry _ , my love. I didn’t—I never meant—“ He stands and moves around the table so he can kneel next to Caduceus, ignoring the way his knees protest.

“Love,” he says gently, resting his hand on Caduceus’ jaw.

Caduceus looks down at him warily, brow still furrowed and lips pressed in a thin line.

“You are my whole life,” Fjord says earnestly. “But I won’t be yours. That’s all I meant. You’ll have a long,  _ long _ life after I’m gone.”

“It won’t be the same without you,” Caduceus says. There’s an edge of fear and uncertainty to his tone that makes Fjord’s chest ache.

“I’m sure another band of misfits will come wandering your way, needing guidance without knowing it,” Fjord smiles, pleased to see the corners of Caduceus mouth twitch up.

“Sometimes I wonder,” he says softly, he hand coming to rest over Fjord’s, thumb caressing the calloused skin, “what would have happened if I’d never met all of you. If I’d been out when Beau and the others came. I think… I  _ know  _ it was where I needed to go. And I know She was leading me to you. And I’d rather have a fraction of a lifetime with you than a hundred without. I love you, Fjord, and I promise you that won’t end when you’re gone.”

Fjord smiles, his own vision blurring.

“And you,” Caduceus says with a wide, adoring smile that feels like warm sun on Fjord’s face, “will make the most wonderful tea.”


End file.
